Some people lack even the most basic survival skills....

This is the story of the near demise of our tea-lady at work (We will call her Mavis*). 

Every office deserves a break from the mundane monotony of office life...At the offices of E International, it came in the form of Mavis....

Stringent office rules dictate that no person may partake of the office 2 litre milk if they intend to use it “on cereal or for drinking”! 

Office fiends beware, the milk is to be used for coffee and tea ONLY!! 

The offenders in question were therefore sent instructions from the Powers-That-Be to purchase their own milk if they wished to have any on their morning cereal. 

Pistol, one of the employees here at E International, brought her cereal milk in an energade bottle….she stuck it in the fridge and proceeded to forget about it…FOR WEEKS….so there it sat curdling, congealing and growing an army of bacteria. It was siff!!

So when the abomination was discovered again by Pistol….she launched some green dishwashing liquid into its milky depths to:

a.         Attempt to get rid of the smell of rotting milk

b.         Kill any germs and bacteria

She gave it a li’l swirl and then left it on the side of the sink to be appropriately disposed of by Mavis.

This is when everything went HORRIBLY wrong…

Mavis who isn’t always the brightest of beings….saw the Energade bottle and was mesmerised by its cloudy emerald contents. The bottle beckoned to her. She watched it for a few minutes…she was parched…she could no longer resist its appeal...

She grabbed at the bottle, ripped off the cap and began to guzzle down the “green juice”! 

She was interrupted (AFTER SHE HAD DOWNED MORE THAN HALF OF THE CONTENTS!!!) by the shrieks of Pistol who was yelling incoherently. 

“Its sour milk and detergent Mavis!!!!!!!”, Pistol finally managed to gasp.

It was only at this second that Mavis realised what she had forced into her digestive system, (obviously the heinous smell and taste had eluded her until this point….)**

It was absolutely astounding that she hadn’t realised straight away that there was something funky about the “juice" and proceeded to yell obscenities at Pistol for trying to cause her harm.....

Mavis spent the next 2 hours hugging the toilet bowl….hmmm..some people are not equipped with even the most basic of survival skills…

 *    not her real name

**   just f**king stupid!!