This weekend I have removed rock climbing, housebreaking and mountaineering from my list of future careers and/or hobbies….this is why:

I get home last night around 7 ‘o clock in the evening. It's pitch black already! I have a billion things in the back of my car which I now need to transfer into my already very cluttered room. 

My house is accessed by means of a remote-controlled pedestrian gate. So there I was carting stuff back and forth through the gate. On trip number 3 to the car and back I heard something fall and hit the road but thought nothing of it. I shut the gate behind me (it locks automatically when it’s shut).

It was at that point that I realised that my house keys were gone! F#*K!!!! I was locked INSIDE my house! Not many people can achieve that. Most people lock themselves OUTSIDE of things…not me!! They broke the mold when they made me! :)

What a predicament I had found myself in…hmmmmm….what to do??

Then it came to me, in a flash of brilliance! I was going to just nip over the wall, grab my keys and then buzz myself back in. Simple right??

NO….not quite!

So there I am scaling the boundary wall in the dark, in a VERY short white dress, clutching on for dear life! I can feel my dress riding up but I’m not all that concerned, my mind is focused on the keys glinting in the dim light of the street.

 I was LESS graceful (and wearing a dress might I add)!!

I am halfway over the wall, bum in midair, when our FLOODLIGHT comes on and there stands the landlady with a full view of my behind. My pink stick-man granny panties were on display in all their illuminated glory!

Terrific! I think I left a great first impression on my new landlady! I feel we bonded! Hahahahaha :)

So what have I learned?

1. When you want to climb things, wear the appropriate gear (Stacey Allison did not summit Everest in a dress and pink panties)
2. I will never make it as a cat burglar (clearly I lack the necessary stealth and subtlety)
3. If you are wearing bad underwear….it will be exposed and it WILL be embarrassing!!!!
4. Dyeing your hair dark will not remove innate blondeness and/or ditziness!